Chimps, Washcloths, & Sweet Treats On 'Fake Doctors, Real Friends'


On this episode of Fake Doctors, Real Friends, Zach Braff and Donald Faison talk about the Scrubs season three episode “My White Whale,” which isn’t one of Zach’s favorites, he admits. They also talk about their producer Joelle’s haunted hayride birthday celebration, the time a monkey on set scared the crap out of Donald’s stunt double Deonte, and their voter registration initiative, which got close to 12,000 voters registered for the polls! Zach and Donald promised to do a video showing everyone how to make an Appletini if the drive was successful, so they discuss filming that later in the day: “Can I be stoned?” Donald asks. Zach responds that everyone would be expecting it anyway, but maybe he shouldn’t smoke during the live feed; “We’re not rappers,” he points out. “Let me write this down,” Donald says.

They’re all excited for how well the Fake Doctors merchandise is selling, enthusing about how many people will use the washcloths with their faces on them to clean their “WAPs” and “balloon knots.” Neither Zach nor Donald can imagine being on a show with “100 seasons” like Law and Order or Grey’s Anatomy, playing the same character for so many years – even though it does give those actors “f**k-you money,” speculating that Ellen Pompeo probably has gold faucets and takes a jet to Wal-Mart. The fantasy where the doctors turn into chimpanzees resulted in a surreal moment for Donald’s stunt double Deonte, who says he was so hungover that day that he retreated to a different floor of the hospital to take a nap on a couch. “The door just bursts open, and there’s a monkey standing there with a lab coat on and a stethoscope, and he’s looking me right in the eye, and all I can think is, ‘Oh God, I’m about to lose my face,’” he recounts. 

Then, Holly Hock calls in from Baltimore, Maryland, where she makes incredibly detailed cakes – Joelle shows everyone the Baby Yoda and BB-8 cakes from her Instagram page. Holly tells them how she and her husband had to pivot their event-planning business after Covid-19 shut down big gatherings, and asks the guys what kind of treats she could make and name for them. Donald requests an assortment of donut holes called Donnie’s Donuts, while Zach would prefer a peanut butter and chocolate cupcake called Put Your Nuts On Me. Then they fix her life by coming up with ways to help her balance her work life and her home life; Zach suggests something out of the ordinary, like taking a hike with her husband or something: “Do you have hikes in Maryland?” he wonders. Donald can’t stop laughing: “That’s the dumbest question ever, dude! A hike is just moving your feet through a section of anywhere!” It degenerates into some name-calling after that (“Anus ears!” “D** nose!”). Hear the whole hilarious conversation on this episode of Fake Doctors, Real Friends.

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