Andrew Cuomo Is A Colossal Douche: MY COLUMN

The United States of America hasn't even been around for 300 years, but, in that time--thanks to the foundation that is our Constitution--we became the most prosperous nation in the history of the world... We showed the world that Kings & Queens weren't necessary, declaring that all men were created equal--We even fought a war against ourselves to ultimately prove it. 

We ushered in the industrial age, saved the world from tyranny, twice, and along the way, created the modern age. Yeah, that nice cushy existence you're living, now... Yeah, that was the good ole' USA, and a quick Google search will prove just that! Too lazy to do that? Fine. I've done some of the legwork for you! Here's a very abridged version of The USA's contributions to the good people of planet Earth:

1801, Modern Suspension Bridge, James Finley

1853, Potato chips, George Crum

1856, Condensed Milk, Gail Borden

1879, Electric Light Bulb, Thomas Alva Edison

1885, Photographic Film, George Eastman

1887, Disc Record, Emile Berliner 1877, Phonograph, Thomas Alva Edison

1861, Machine Gun, Richard Gatling

1885, Skyscraper, William Le Baron Jenney

1897, Cotton Candy, William Morrison & John C. Wharton

1894, Mousetrap, William C. Hooker

1903, Airplane, Wilbur and Orville Wright

1905, Ice pop, Frank Epperson

1912 the electric traffic light by Lester Wire, a policeman from Salt Lake City.

1926, Liquid-Fuel Rocket, Robert H. Goddard

1929, Sun glasses, Sam Foster 1937, Edwin Land, Polarized sun glasses

1929, Frozen Food, Clarence Birdseye

1930, Chocolate chip cookie, Ruth Wakefield

1937, modern day digital computer was invented by George Stibitz while he was working at Bell Labs.

1938, Nylon, Wallace H. Carothers 1956, Pantyhose, Ernest G. Rice

1939, The fully automatic automobile transmission was invented by General Motors and introduced by Oldsmobile & Cadillac.

1945, Microwave Oven, Percy Spencer

1945, microwave oven, Percy Spencer, an engineer from Maine who was working on the magnetron for radar sets at Raytheon, found out that the microwaves had melted the chocolate in his pocket.

1950, Credit card, Ralph Schneider & Frank X. McNamara

1950, Disposable Diaper, Marion Donovan

1954, Nuclear Submarine, Hyman Rickover

1958, Integrated circuit, 1947, Transistor, Jack Kilby William Shockley

1960, Magnetic stripe card, Forrest Parry

1960 the first LASER was built by Theodore H. Maiman, at Hughes Research Laboratories in Malibu, California.

1962   the use of Light Emitting Diodes for lighting and image  displays by Nick Holonyak Jr., a consulting scientist at General  Electric Company in Syracuse, New York.

1965,  Compact Disk, by inventor Jack Russel

1965,  Kevlar, Stephanie Kwolek

1968, Lunar Module, Tom Kelly

1969, Laser Printer by Gary Keith Starkweather Xerox’s Webster research Center.

1970 –  fiber optic cable was developed by Robert Maurer, Donald Keck, and Peter Schultz, Corning Glass in New York

1971, Personal Computer, John Blankenbaker

1971 Email The first email was sent in 1971 using ARPANET, by Ray Tomlinson.

1973 The first the mobile phone was developed by a team headed by Dr. Martin Cooper.

1981, Space Shuttle, George Mueller

1982 – the Internet Protocol Suite of the US National Science Foundation

1980s

– The computer mouse – funded by the US Government

– The Charge Coupled Device image sensor and the LCD display where  both developed by the RCA Sarnoff Labs under a US Government contract.

1978-1994 – GPS invented by the United States Air Force became operational (Fully operational 1995)

And on, and on, and on, and let's not forget the super-obvious magic & sorcery that is WIFI, the IPHONE, and all the pieces of SPACE-TECH THAT PUT A MAN ON THE MOON AND THE CURIOSITY ROVER ON MARS... That's not just GREAT, it's pretty damned SPECTACULAR.

Is there room for improvement? Always! Are we a perfect country? Far from it, but, we've been the best thing going for the past 240+ years--AND IT HASN'T EVEN BEEN CLOSE. And it's our foundation of Freedom & Individual liberty which have made it all possible. 

In conclusion, America is GREAT. We ARE an EXCEPTIONAL people. And Andrew "America has never been great" Cuomo is a world-class COLOSSAL DOUCHE.